family new york personal relationship

am i the “it” girl for today?

i’ve happily relocated to ny. last week, i cleared out of my old apartment in boston where i lived for 10 years. yes! ten years in the same apartment, let a lone the same city. anyway so i have one home to call my own and it’s in ny.

i’m doing really well, much better than i would have expected given that the move is huge! leaving friends and community i had for past 10 years is oh, not so easy, you know? i’m still seeing my doctors and personal trainer in boston so i’m not completely moved to ny yet.

so here is my question, my bf and i have now officially (both of us knowing we consider each other as bf & gf) for over 6 months. to the best of my knowledge, only an old work friend (and maybe a friend here and there) knows that he’s dating. no one in his family knows that he’s dating or who he’s dating. i’ve never met any of his friends or any of his family members.

my bf has met one of my sister multiple times, talked to my dad on the phone once, and has even IM’ed with my niece a few times while i was visiting her. he’s met anyone and everyone in my circle of friends and family that he wanted to meet.

the tricky part is that i understand the reason he told me why he isn’t telling his family. but does that include his close friends too? there is something to be said for meeting the friends of your significant other right? you get to see them in the context of their own comfort zone. see how he treats and gets treated by those who know him and love him.

partly due to how he’s handing the (now 6 months old) news of his relationship status, i’m wondering if he is pretty sure we are more or less a short-term couple. i mean, i’m not entirely sure that he thinks this. but i’m starting to think that maybe we will be a short-term couple. that is to say, we may not last much more than a year. still, a year is light years and galaxies further along than all my other relationships in my adult life, save but one (my first relationship which miraculously lasted about 4 years).

i always have said and thought that i would take as much of this relationship as i could because it’s one i would choose over a relationship with a long term possibility that i don’t want. but let’s face it, if i could be in this relationship, with my current bf, with some kind of acknowledgment of a long term commitment, i would love it!

i hate the possibility that i’m the “it” girl for today and only because i’m good enough for today. once we talked about how one happy day after another after another is a happily ever after when you look back. but i realize now that you may not get a happy day after another after another. on days that are not so happy, you stay put and work things out because you care and are committed to the person and to the relationship. i never wanted that and have never been ready for that. think i’m ready for that now and want that in the near future.

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