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academic faith PhD Life

Dissertation defense preparation reflections – 20210627

People share all kinds of feelings and thoughts on social media. But I have not come across how one feels on the days leading up to a dissertation defense. Past couple days I have been feeling dizzy and also somewhat paralyzed. Overwhelmed with having gotten here? Joy and happiness? My dissertation defense is 3 days […]

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coping skills PhD Life

a good enough dissertation

I have a defense draft of dissertation! I consider it a “good enough” dissertation, as in Winnicott’s concept of a “good enough mother.” I don’t mean that my dissertation isn’t good. I just mean that I did my best not being a perfectionist and practically speaking it’s better than a perfect draft of a dissertation […]

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academic PhD Life reflections work

the gift of pausing

On weekends, sometimes just Sunday some times Saturday and Sunday, I take a break from writing my dissertation. When you have been writing and thinking about something, in my case theology of traumatic affect, taking a break from it feels so strange! I started taking weekends off from writing when I noticed I was not […]

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anxiety coping skills PhD Life

the difference between i can’t do it and i can do it

Most of last week, I felt overwhelmed and thought to myself I can’t do it. I had a sermon and a chapter of my dissertation both due on Thursday of last week. On Monday at noon, I got a call to schedule an interview for that day, had the interview and got hired later in […]

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health PhD Life weight loss

done with weight loss

Something just occurred to me. I’m not super concerned about weight loss any more. I gained about 4 pounds last week, then went down about 4 pounds this week. So I’m hovering around a weight I feel comfortable to live in. I can lose more body fat, I can get stronger, I can increase my […]